In Search of the Perfect Family Holiday; A Reality or an Illusive Dream?
- Rebecca Rangeley
- Sep 10, 2024
- 5 min read
When I was a child, family holidays weren’t really a thing. Flying off at the drop of a hat just wasn’t done in the 80s. My parents didn’t have the money, and any time off was spent in the car and on ferries, travelling to see family in the UK, since Dad was stationed abroad with the army.
Nowadays, the average family takes multiple holidays abroad each year. This year alone, we’ve flown three times with our kids: for a ski trip, a city break, and a summer holiday. I even considered another holiday this October, but you know what? I think what we really need is a solid week at home.
"What we really need is a solid week at home.
So what made me come to this realisation? Don’t get me wrong, our recent trip to Greece—complete with grandparents—was lovely. The picture-perfect location, the charming hotel in Corfu (more on that in a later post!), it was all beautiful. But as most parents will admit, holidaying with kids, especially in the heat, with endless distractions and choices: it’s exhausting.
During our holiday, I witnessed parents, myself included, teetering between joy and utter frustration. I watched as families who appeared to be in perfect harmony descended into chaos an hour later: “Stop that, Poppy!” “Don’t hit your brother!” “Enough!” “Sit down now!” A mother’s voice bellowed as her toddler stood repeatedly in the high chair. And, yes, I had my moment, too—when my daughter refused to do anything I asked, and held out her feet for me to put her shoes on for her, I found myself muttering the words, “I’m not on holiday to be your slave!” Cue much Mum guilt, my child was struggling, she needed help, I could have been more patient.
"During our holiday, I witnessed parents, myself included, teetering between joy and utter frustration.
To make matters trickier, my son has ADHD, so he needs structure, routine, and downtime. Eventually, I caved and allowed screen time, as I stared longingly at the Ionian Sea, wishing my kids would join me in snorkelling until sunset. Alas, it wasn’t to be.
"I stared longingly at the Ionian Sea, wishing my kids would join me in snorkelling until sunset.
This was also the first year we didn’t use any kids’ clubs—something we usually rely on to keep the kids out of the midday sun and have our own time. I thought the hotel’s small waterpark would be enough to entertain them. How wrong I was! The kids were in meltdown by the afternoon. The beach? Hated by all except me. “It’s too hot, Mummy,” and “The water makes me itchy,” were the complaints. My son panicked if a single drop of saltwater touched him, sprinting for the shower, while my daughter constantly asked for screen time.
On the last day, I finally got a precious hour to myself on a lounger, with a book. Then my attention was caught as I watched a mother and daughter in a kayak. The daughter, who’d 10 minutes prior had been toddling along the promenade hand-in-hand with her mum, suddenly started shouting, “I’m not enjoying this at all, Mummy!” The dad rushed over to take some photos, I would pay to see how they turned out! The daughter shrieked again, “I hate this!”
And that’s when it hit me: we’ve built up these massive, Instagram-fuelled expectations for family holidays. We imagine walking hand-in-hand down the beach, building sandcastles, snorkelling, capturing that perfect family photo to post on social media*. But let’s be honest, anyone who’s come back from a family holiday thinking, I need another break—this time by myself, is completely normal. We spent our holiday pretty much, as my husband described it “negotiating with terrorists” day in day out. At one point, our 10-year-old son lay face down on the lawn, bum in the air, utterly exhausted, as we trudged back from dinner.
More than once, I found myself asking, “Dear God, what have we done to the kids on this holiday? They’re exhausted!” Kids are creatures of habit, and anything extreme can send them into meltdown territory. Throw in a pool, waterparks, watersports, late nights, early mornings—it’s a recipe for disaster.
"We spent our holiday pretty much, as my husband described it 'negotiating with terrorists' day in day out.
So here’s the plan for future family holidays (if we ever recover enough to take another one):
1. Lower Expectations
If your kids don’t want to kayak or paddleboard, don’t force them. Honestly, we didn’t do those things as kids, and we turned out just fine. Stop projecting adult desires, instagram opportunities and your perception of what family time should be onto your children.
2. Build in Downtime; whether games or screen time out of the sun
We need to teach our kids that having downtime and just doing nothing sometimes is ok. That starts with us. Screen time is okay. We can’t deny our kids screen time when we’re glued to our own phones, even if it’s for "life admin" like paying bills or catching up with friends. It’s all the same to them. It provides a shut off for 30 mins, especially if you have neurodivergent kids.
3. Stick to Some Routine
The occasional late night is fine, but if you want to avoid meltdowns by the end of the week, stick to a routine, try get the odd earlier night and don’t feel bad if you lay in. You are not going to be one of the lucky few on the loungers at 9am. Let the kids rest. And while you’re at it, try rest yourself!
4. Limit the Excitement
One big activity a day is enough. Don’t do the waterpark and watersports on the same day—it’s overload.
5. Don’t be a hero
If kids clubs are there and age appropriate use them!
6. Be prepared at Mealtimes and Afternoon Poolside
Card games, books, and colouring saved us for times in the shade and at mealtimes. Shout out to “5 Second Rule: Travel Edition”—you saved many a meltdown and created much family fun over dinner.
7. Consider a Villa Over a Hotel
I’ve come to the conclusion that I find hotel holidays stressful. I find the need to be places at set times and activities just adds pressure. The only upside is that you don’t have to cook. I much prefer Villa holidays, with my own space. You can come and go as you please without marching through a massive resort for breakfast. Villa holidays allow ample opportunity to eat out, graze when you want to and space for kids to roam inside when it gets too hot. Now, I just need to convince my husband (I hope you're reading, darling!).
8. Make Time for Yourself
Don’t feel guilty about taking some alone time. It’s your holiday, too. I’ve spent so much energy trying to be present with the kids every second, but let’s face it—they don’t always want to hang out with me. Take the hint and do your own thing.
9. Finally Remember, You’re Doing a Great Job!
Lastly, you’re doing an amazing job. I wanted to hug every stressed-out mum on holiday who snapped at their kids and give them a medal. Yes, someone 10 loungers down may be tutting, and we heard you and your kids screaming the other side of the pool or buffet, but it’s hot, the kids are tired, you’re tired, and you’re doing your best. It will be someone else’s kids in 5 mins!
*Oh, and by the way, I have zero photos of all four of us together from this holiday. Not one.
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